wher will be love when there is no trust..
wher will be trust when u dont love?

nah.. both comes together.. but sometimes.. u will onli have one thing.. is u love but u dont trust...

u love tt person.. u want to trust him wholeheartdly.. u tried.. but he cant seems to giv u the trust and the sercureness.. u love tt person.. u will willing to giv a try to trust him.. but its realli difficult.. not because u dont love him.

wanting to gain someone trust is not jux by saying.. after u break the person trust.. should'nt u take ur time.. ur everything.. try to do to gain back the trust u lost?
should'nt u not lie again.. askin me not to doubt u... but wad u doin is doubtful to me.. and u wanted me to not doubt u.. isnt it funny? wierd..

trust and love is not smth to be claim by saying.. its easy to say.. but issit true?

why? things happening are so contrasting.. one day can happen this.. one day can happen that.. mayb u did not do anything.. mayb u did.. mayb wad u say were lies.. mayb wad u say is the truth.. how the hell am i supposed to knoe..

its impossible.. who will admit if the person tell lies.. sayin" ya. i am lyin to u"

wad u told me on tt day.. on tt faithful night.. wads tt? nah..


"sometimes the best way to lose someone is to grab hard and not know when to let go"

sometimes, learning life in a hard way isn't easy..

long holiday ya?

In lan shop noww... lolx.. and why the lan shop wanna open 24 hr.. dots.. learnin to play dota.. -.-" cox if not i will be seatin beside him and doin nth.. haha.. so decided to learnt.. so jux played with the comp jux now.. lol.. -.-" single player la! ...

so.. shall continue frm last post bah.. went to buy noodle for my bro and me.. reason: he wan eat.. idiot.. haha.. so went down to buy.. called wei hao for help.. so.. was alraedi 330 le.. so was thinking to go down collect pay and go SP do my elearning as i din do yet..

so went home.. bath.. eat le.. was on my way to clarke quay.. when i just reach attica, (blog till here b jiu ask me go off le.. -.-")

so now was the 13june.. 750pm.. at tpy now..

cont" elfee was askin me wher my bf.. and i say he not here.. den when walkin up to attica 2 stairs, saw him at the stairs.. so wanted to collect pay.. but sarena not there.. so went off to liang court.. on our way saw adrain.. so went to mac together..

ard around 545 walked back to attica.. took our pay.. short of $128! din knoe until sunday, the 11th, went to zuma tt time.. jane told me got three PH.. so she help me calculate our pay.. after taking pay, me and b jiu walk home loh.. went to plaza sing..went to eat the mee fen.. den b buy me ice cream! wohaha.. den went to shop around carrefour.. buy things.. groceries etc..

reached his house le.. and he told me to go home.. reason: his fren wanna come help him dye hair. was damn unhappy.. cox: told him my house comp cannot open ppt slides.. all tt.. giv him some attitude.. this and tt.. wadeva.. went back to tpy... den send him sms to giv him the reason why i not happi.. den later he din reply.. den he sms me askin me still angry not all tt.. den ya.. fine.. miss the last train to his house.. so.. cab there..

meet him at the prata shop.. eat.. den he went to play dota.. went in at around 1.. waited for him till 2.. and was abit sleepi.. plus need to do elearning.. so decided to went home first.. and go home do the elearning loh. den waited for him till 6+ he den come back sia.. at first tell me 3.. den 4+ tt time say comin back le.. all the way.. -.-" did not do the measurement.. sian..

so after he finalli reached home.. yeah.. go slp.. haha.. -.-"

friday, 9th june.. afternoon.. wake up.. do my acc de assignment.. submit.. than went to work at 1030.. till sat morning.. went back to tpy.. took transport to somerset mrt.. den b realise he din bring his ezlink.. lol.. so went back myself..

went to train le.. he called.. his keys in my bag.. dot dot dot.. so he went dota.. and i go home.. take thing le.. went to the cyber game find him... awhile.. went home.. slp..

wake up late.. around 6+.. ready up.. and we headed to chinatown for his fren wedding.. at furama hotel... hmm.. the dinner was normal bah.. mayb i dunno the pple there.. abit diff frm wad i attend always.. haha... saw alyssa there.. and turn out tt her bf.. knoe b.. world so small.. sat at the same table.. haha..

after weddin dinner.. alyssa bf send us to cine.. wanted to watch movie de.. but all selling fast.. den eunice wanted play mahjong one. but she workin.. so in the end.. she went home cox smth happen to her mum.. and so.. me and b went to prata shop.. drink teh.. and he got smth wif his family too.. so went home and take my attica uniform.. take a cab home.. wher he go sk.. den he took another cab...

so reached home ard around 2+am.. supposingly meetin eunice. but she say she onli wan play mahjong.. dun wan go out.. so ok lor.. din went to play.. than the thomas mia.. -.-" bluff me.. haha.. end up went to clarke quay.. meet ah siang.. he pay for my cab fare.. lol.. cox his fren drive ma.. but din pick me up.. and din ride also.. cox rainin..

din manage to get in to MOS.. so walk clarke quay awhile.. called jo.. and she at MU.. so three of us went down to mu loh.. reached there le.. went in.. siang fren ordered two jug bbc.. den later 5.. mu close le.. din knoe how to dance.. lol.. so.. well..

went to ECP.. cabanah there.. or cavanah... wadeva... went there le.. ordered "ard the world" den heineken.. his another fren came.. ordered spring rol no more le.. tt guy ask me order ice cream. den i say " u treat me ar" he say he go ask.. den he come back sayin cannot. lol..

den siang pei me go buy mac eat.. tabao back to cabanah.. eat the macmuffin onli.. hashbrown giv him.. den later drink.. play the game wif tt of his fren.. -.-" drink most of the heineken.. yuck..

later on me and siang shared cab.. cox his tt fren go home earlier le.. reached home.. coma sia.. after bath..

sms him when i was at mu.. no reply.. called him at one pm.. no ans.. wake up at 6.. call him.. 615 call again.. and he MIA! called up eunice to see meetin not.. she also MIA.. fuck.. den sms wh.. 630 b called back.. finalli.. after so long.. and he says tt elfee wants him to work at 7.. so he gettin ready go work le.. so ok loh..

meet up wif wh and eunice at 730 initialli.. but we were late.. so three of us reached at 8.. went to marina square to eat.. the food court.. grilled chicken.. den later walk to clarke quay.. walk ok.. haha.. than i went to zuma.. tts when i knoe my pay got less..

went to work.. at 1030.. sunday! gay night loh.. workin at attica too.. whoo... shiok.. haha..

till 3+.. close cashier.. 4.. walk to cupage wif b.. cox bernard, pq and kerrie.. they ridin.. -.-" haha.. meet them there.. and so .. after eatin.. i landed at the lan shop. =D

nah...

hmm.. currently at tpy..

monday.. the 5th.. after i slept till 8+pm.. slack at home.. den later online.. den realised i miss the last train... damn.. so took a cab down to clarke quay.. went to zuma to find b.. he off work le.. and we went to ms to eat ba kut teh.. and walk around ms.. and walk home.. so online and run through wad assignment for elearning.. and b fall asleep.. haha.. den later awhile.. than go sleep le..

afternoon wake up.. b cook fried rice.. so eat le.. than wash the things.. awhile later went to sleep.. than he went to work.. so stayed at home slack.. than later meet thomas and ahsiang.. went to clarke quay to pass b the key.. after that travel to lavender to eat "wan tan mee" and thomas damn suey.. haha.. his hp tio bird bomb.. -.-" so zhun.. haha.. than later went off.. to fishermen! ordered one bucket of strobe again.. drink.. play the qing wa tiao.. -.-" and tok loh..

than around 2+ went down to cine.. play pool.. after tt.. they send me home le...

went home.. slack abit.. slp..

wed.. same as tuesday... bb cook fried rice.. den wake up at 11+pm to eat.. when i slept at 6am.. -.-" so after eatin.. and washin the utensils.. was damn sleepy.. so fall asleep.. till dunno wad time baby wake me up tellin me he go meeting.. den later went back to slp.. till 3+.. wake up.. online.. den 5+ he says he reach ps le.. den asked me go down.. so went to bath.. and walk to ps.. meet b... he was at the arcade.. later on went to foodcourt to eat.. just dunno why dun have the mood to eat... den when i wanted to eat the fish slice noodle, the queue damn long.. den went to indonesian there.. also damn long.. even longer.. so dunno why.. don wanna eat loh.. went back to seat.. den later baby went to buy the indonesian one for me.. =) den after eating.. walk home.. actually wanted to meet eunice go take pay.. but den jane say pay not there yet.. so din take lor..

den later she want meet me.. so i went down to tpy.. and she meet me there.. went home take my passport.. mummy and ah ma there.. so mummy was tellin me not to go to JB.. so wadeva.. i took and keep my passport faster.. =D and so later went to kbox loh.. till 10+..

ah siang and kenny reached le.. so we went down.. take ah siang de one seater bike.. -.-" dots.. seat till so pain.. lol..

travel down to bedok north.. she go up take passport.. and than went to joo chiat.. meet up wif thomas.. den later kopi den come.. eat noodle.. den go second link le..

went in.. pump oil.. see them race.. never go eat.! -.-"

den around 2+ went out of jb.. some went home.. so left me thomas and kopi.. went to jurongville.. but there cannot go in.. dunno why.. so went down to labroder park.. slack there awhile.. and was damn hungry.. so kopi go home.. me and thomas went to eat.. at bugis.. and he see me eat.. lol.. den later he send me back to tpy..

sms b.. when i was on my way to eat.. eat le than go home.. and he den tell me to go back to tpy cox he need to go back to seng kang to do some family stuffs.. and its 4+am... so well.. so i say tml mux before 1pm take pay.. he say ok.. meet me 12+ at attica.. den so i say ok.. call him tml...

and now its goin to 3pm.. and he still haven call me.. neither did he reply my sms when i send him before i went to slp at 8+.. askin him to call me to wake up when he wake up.. so think he is still sleeping.. called him twice just now.. and no pick up..

yeah.. so he MIA till now.. neither did he sms me yesterday night when he go sengkang.. =) nice... but hopefully he never lie.

hmm.. and so.. on sat or sun.. forget when le.. went to read jac blog.. his ex gf.. and she says

"think I allowed myself to let my mind wander a bit too much last night, and it kinda wandered a little too much towards the area where I didn't want it to go- Relationships.

I had been very selfish these days, and despite Richel wants me to perservere and try to work things out again of some sort, I've decided to say a firm 'no', and leave us in the memories of the past.

I realised even though he appreciates me now, and even bore me the hope that he might love me if I were to perservere enough. I realised I don't need all these at all. Going through all the ups and downs just to achieve love was really too much for me, especially when I'm the one going through all alone.

He brought me all the way to the moon, and then time and time again, I was left to fall back down Earth myself, and everytime, the hurt just got worse.

I know exactly which kind of guys I want now, and I have someone right in front of me who fits the bill perfectly. I just want us to be ready before we try anything stupid again. At this point of time, I knowI shouldn't compromise myself.

It's hard to describe how nice the feeling is, when you lose sleep over tests, and all you need to do, is to press the dial button. He'd always be there to pick up the call, no matter how late it was, and even listen to the nonsensical whines about school, life, work and sometimes relationships.

When granny passed away and I'm all alone, someone is there, even when they are nothing but messages. At least, someone bothered to reply my pleas for attention and care.When someone messages you to make sure you reach school for your tests.

When someone tries to be mean to you, because he doesn't want to hurt you yet again so quickly. When he'd do whatever he can, so that you'd be safe. When someone guarantees your safety with his own.When someone gives you head massages cuz you're so freakin lousy, you vomit after a long run and feeling all groggy.

When someone proves you wrong that you're heavy by carrying you across the bridge. When seeing the stupid grin makes you stupid as well. Doing stupid things together, laugh at really lousy singers together and everything else.It makes me feel cherished, like, I'm important.

So, I'm going to be selfish once more, so that I'd be happy with someone I feel would bring me my real happiness. Someone who'd bring me to the moon and stay with me, watching the stars from above.

I'm sorry, but we have to move on, Richel."

well.. after i read it.. was kind of unhappi.. the first thought which run through my mind is tt he ask her to patch or smth.. so went to asked him straight.. and he says no.. he says tt i rather go and read a blog and believe wad she writes than to believe him when he is my bf beside me..

so wad i ment was.. she does not have a reason to lie in her blog.. for wad right.. plus she dont even knoe tt richel has a gf now. and who wil go and lie around in the blog..

well.. he says he did not ask her patch.. but they did quarrel and tok over some matter in the past.. saying why this and that happen.. reason? i dont knoe.. dont seems that i did call up my ex bf and quarrel wif him..

and was not really happy.. this thing has been botherin me quite sometime... tt day when we went to play mahjong at euncie house... ya..

its not even three weeks.. issit that he haven settle down his problems.. his heart..

yeah!!! exams are over!

just finished work not long at attica.. now at b house.. yawns..

aniway.. exams had finished..

so.. on wed... had pm1 paper.. kindof forget wad paper it is about.. haha... den after tt.. went home.. rest a little.. online.. measurements kindof nth much.. so slack quite alot.. lolx.. at night.. around 12+.. thomas come fetch me.. wif ahsiang kenny.. went to fisherman village.. hell.. damn hungry there.. but their last order no more le.. so went to costa sand wif thomas to get mac to eat.. tabao for them also.. den went back to have some drink..

left there at 3+.. knoe b not happi.. cox i exams still go out till so late.. sorry.. next time wont le.. den later kenny went off.. den they pei me go tabao food at somerset for b.. credit the uncle there first.. not enugh cash.. den buy food le.. reached home.. he dun wanna eat.. so well..

drink... den later slp quite late.. wake up le.. he went to eat wad i brought ytd.. den he angry.. so never pei me go eat.. so went to skool myself.. went to centerpoint to get a pancake.. could not finish.. den went to skool le.. kindof hungry.. went to buy a chicken and egg bowl.. eat half.. den went in and had the measurement paper.. after measurement paper jiu went to t14 there find wei hao.. den we went down to bugis to meet eunice! cox its her bday.. so went down le.. was kindof feeling unwell.. went to walk around bugis... go seiyu de children de arcade play.. den later finalli went to coffeeshop opposite bugis.. had a hot drink.. milk.. den jux vomited wad i drank ytd.. abit.. so kindof funni..

den walked over to marina square.. went to have pizza! den later went to arcade to pplay... haha.. hotd and soccer.. lol..

after tt jiu went home.. wei hao and eunice send me home.. =D so nice.. haha.. den later reached home le.. b jiu say "why u come up.. thought goin down eat.." -.-""" den rest awhile.. wait for him finish playin the silli soccer manager.. den he jiu called up eunice.. say together go eat.. so eunice called edwards to come to town.. den later he go pass to jaq her stuffs.. den i went to meet eunice and edwards.. den later he come le.. we jiu went to the market place to eat.. well.. so see them eat..

after tt went to play pool.. lay till 12+.. den go home..

and the next day.. i could not manage to wake up! wake up at 820 when my paper starts at 830 lor.. so chiong a cab down frm somerset.. $7+.. reached klass at 9am.. and ya.. dun reali knoe how to do the paper..

den after paper.. went home.. to slp.. -.-"

at night wake up le.. ready to go work wif b le de.. and the rpg is such a bitch.. well.. fuck care.. den later we dint go work.. went to eunice house.. lolx.. for wad leh.. alex was there.. so i table.. 4 pple.. haha..

den later after two rounds alex went off.. and we went to bedok 85 there to eat.. after eatin was around 4 le.. so went back to eunice house and slp.. wake up earli in the morning.. cox her bf comin.. lol..

den we went to bedok interchange.. eat.. eat le.. den he says he wanna go walk around.. end up we went to princess.. brought the tix for davinci code.. and while waitin for the show to start, he went to play dota.. after the show was 3+..reached home at 4+.. and den slp.. bb never go work.. he not feelin well.. so i went to work.. was workin at service bar.. wif xiao bai and kerrie.. no much pple.. haha..

den finished work le.. went to b house.. call him no ans.. thought he was sleepin.. later he pick up.. tel me he went to 7-11.. dots.. wait for him to come back.. den he cook the noodle.. eat.. watch hary potter.. the goblet of fire.. den slp..

sunday night.. wake up.. went to PS.. eat.. den went to work.. gay night leh.. workin downstairs. no pple at all after 12+!!! so me and irra is like takin turn to go break.. duhx.. borin.. closed aat 3.. and i got scolded by a gay outside k.. damn.. aniway.. went to 7-11.. buy thing.. den walk back to attica.. wait for b to finish his stuffs... den we went down to take the transport.. den walk over to eat prata.. plaster! den later he wan to play dota.. so go loh.. dozed off there aniway.. haha.. 5+ went in.. and finalli.. 7am he finished playin le! lol.. den walk home.. so sleepi.. bath.. den slp..

den slp and slp.. suddenli baby wake me up.. to eat the pasta.. which he cooked.. haha.. so sweet.. -.-" well.. eat le.. den was too sleepy.. so doze off again.. after eatin.. den later baby wake me up and tell me he go work le.. yeah..

so slp till 8+ den i wake up.. online.. haha.. and till now.. bah!